Friday, October 30, 2009

It's clear that you're a meerkat

Uses:
  • When you stand on two legs with your family and friends because you think a predator is coming... it's clear that you're a meerkat
  • When your best friend is a large warthog with bad gas... it's clear that you're a meerkat
  • When going outside means sticking your head out of the ground to look around and be cute... it's clear that you're a meerkat
  • When you live by the catchphrase Hakuna Matata... it's clear that you're a meerkat... or a warthog... or a young lion club voiced by JTT and later by Matthew Broderick

Problems:

This one was KILLING... until Disney decided to sue me saying that all I was doing was using Lion King references.

It's obvious you're a smobvious...

Uses:
  • If you don't really make sense all the time... it's obvious you're a smobvious.
  • If you are just used sometimes to rhyme something... it's obvious you're a smobvious
  • If you frequently find yourself in Dr. Seuss books... it's obvious you're a smobvious.

Problem:

Too Andy Kaufmanish... but not funny.

It's evident you're sediment(ary rock)

Uses:
  • When you find yourself wedged in numerous layers of the grand canyon in various forms... it's evident you're sediment(ary rock)
  • When you have a racial prejudice against igneous rocks... it's evident you're sediment(ary rock)
  • When the teacher says Samson and you say "here" because you misheard her and thought she said Sandstone... it's evident you're sediment(ary rock)
  • When your biggest enemy is erosion and water... it's evident you're sediment(ary rock)
  • When your idea of a good time is getting compressed and turning into a metamorphic rock... it's evident you're sediment(ary rock)... and that you have a drug problem... just be yourself.

Problems:

This one killed at a geology seminar I was doing stand up at... but the night clubs aren't really a sedimentary rock scene.

It's apparent you're a parent

Uses:
  • When you have peanut butter and jelly already mixed into one of those goober containers... it's apparent you're a parent.
  • When you think a good time on a Friday night is a mild amount of sleep after watching Finding Nemo... it's apparent you're a parent.
  • When the last time you thought about sex was during a college class... it's apparent you're a parent... and that you knocked up your girlfriend in college... that is also apparent.
  • When you think a good paint job consists of peanut butter on the walls... it's apparent you're a parent.
  • When you say you liked E.T. but weren't a fan of the blood and gore in the movie... it's apparent you're a parent.

Problems with this phrase:

It's fairly clear I'm not a parent and all my jokes are taken from stereotypical parental things... also I think it's from Family Circus.